No Guts No Glori Rewrite
Friday night at The Loud House, Luna was in her room excited about tonight. Luna: (smiles) Friday! (to the viewers) Nothin' quite like it! I get to work on my new music for tonight! It's gonna be rockiiiin'! (Luna plugs in her speakers and was about to start playing, until she noticed that the hallway was rather quiet) Luna: Hm, nobody seems to be out right now. (Luna walks out and notices nobody was out. She notices Lincoln's door was open a little bit, so she peeks in and finds him just lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling) Lincoln: (sighs) Friday night. Luna: (confused) Uhh, hey little bro. Why aren't you doing your fun? Lincoln: Because why bother? Tonight is the night we watch Date Night. Luna: (gasps) Date night?! Lincoln: (nods) You know what that means, don't you? Luna: (gulps) Terrible writing... Lincoln: Yup. Luna: (groans) Dang that Lori! Always making our nights miserable! It feels like yesterday when she first started babysitting! Rita: Lori's in charge! Do as she says! Bye! (leaves) Luna: Hey Lori! Wanna jam with me? Lori: (unplugs Luna's amplifiers) NO SHITTY POP MUSIC! (tosses Lana's mud pie in the trash) NO PUDDLE OF MUDD! (approaches Leni who's talking on the phone) NO- Leni: Way! That's totes cray cray! Lori: We're sold out of that product we sell. (hangs up Leni's call) (takes away Lincoln's game) AND NO VIDEO GAMES! (Lori dresses up in a military uniform and blows a whistle that summons her siblings and the pets to the front room) Lori: At ease! (Everyone feels calmer now) NOBODY IS TO BE AT EASE IN MY PRESENCE! (the others regain their forms) As you know, Mom and Dad left me in charge. That means, you have to do as I say, whether you're tall, short, or covered in fur and can only understand the word shit. (Charles, Cliff, and Geo sit down on command, but Walt tips over in his attempt and knocks Geo's hamster ball to the side) Lori: (busts out a chart of tonight's schedule) Now, here is our schedule for this evening. 6:00 to 7:00: Sitting on bed with arms folded. 7:00 to 7:30: Chow the Bear. 7:30 to 8:00: Thorough cleaning of mess hall. 8:00: Staring at wall until falling asleep. Everyone got that? Lincoln, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lisa, and Lily: MA'AM, YES, MA'AM! Lana: SIR, YES, SIR! (Lori glares at Lana for calling her sir) Lori: DISMISSED! (Everyone rushes back upstairs while Geo hops in his ball up each step. The flashback ends with Luna looking annoyed) Luna: (groans) Tonight's gonna be a total drama! Lincoln: (sighs) No point in trying to fix everything Luna, the house would go crazy. Luna: (slightly annoyed) Are you kidding me bro? Do you think we would act like five year olds? Lincoln: In a family this big, yes. Luna: (annoyed) Oh yeah? Well I'm sure we'll find a way to have fun! I know it! (Later that night, Lori was in her room texting on her phone. Leni was about to walk out, but...) Lori: Don't even think about it. Leni: Dang it! How did you know?! Lori: Leni, you weren't even doing a good job sneaking out. I could hear you. Leni: Aww. (sits back down) (Suddenly, Lori gets a phone call from Bobby) Lori: (smiles) Hey boo boo bear! Bobby: Babe, where are you? Don't you remember what tonight is? Lori: Uhh, what? Bobby: We were planning to go to the movies tonight, remember? Lori: (gasps) Oh my gosh, I can't believe I forgot! Bobby: Yeah, you probably did. Lori: Sorry Bobby, but I don't know if I can make it. (gets annoyed) I have to babysit my siblings... (thinks) Unless... Bobby: Babe? Lori: Don't worry Bobby, I'll make it to the theater, just give me some time. Bobby: 'Kay babe, see you soon. (hangs up) (Lori exits her room and downstairs) Lori: (calls) SIBLINGS! DOWNSTAIRS! (All the siblings ran downstairs into the living room) Lana: (salutes) Arrive and well sir! Lori: (rolls her eyes) Relax guys, I'm not even in my military suit. Lola: So what is it miss bossy pants? Lori: (glares) Sorry? Lola: (stands up straight) Nothing! Lori: Alright you kids, I'm going out tonight because I forgot I had to meet Bobby at the cinema. Luna: (smiles) Dude, does this mean we're free?! Lori: No way. Leni's going to be in charge while I'm out. Leni: (confused) Me? Lori: Yes Leni, you. Leni: But I'm dumb. Lori: Relax Leni, all you have to do is make sure everyone stays in their room. Luna: No way dude, you should let us have fun. Lori: Zip it Luna! I'll tell Mom and Dad what you said! Luna: Okay! (Lori notices Bobby's car outside) Lori: There's my stop. I'll be back in two hours! (runs outside) Luan: And she's gone. Leni: So... everyone back in their rooms? Luna: No way Leni, you should let us have fun! Lincoln: Actually, I think Lori has a point. We should do what she says. Luna: (annoyed) Lincoln, you wanted this too! Lincoln: Rewind the story, I can prove you're wrong! (Luna presses a button on the remote, which rewinds the story, no such mention of it happened. Cuts back to present) Lincoln: Told ya! Luan: (annoyed) We all want this! Lincoln: I want to have fun, but I don't want this house to turn into a madhouse! Lynn: Then that takes away the fun. (Suddenly, Luna walks out to the front) Luna: Every time Lori's left in charge, she makes our lives miserable. Well, I say no more! It's time to take back our Friday nights! Luan, do you like it when Lori cancels your comedy nights?! Luan: It's not funny. Luna: And Lana, how about when Lori throws out your Puddle of Mudds? Lana: Their music is that! Luna: And Lily, what about when Lori won't let you run around naked? (Lily takes off her diaper and throws it at Ian) Well I say tonight, we let loose and have fun! Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lily: YEAH! Leni: In that case, (smiles) okay, you can all have fun tonight! (The siblings all cheer as they run off) Lincoln: (gulps) Leni, I don't think that was a good idea. Leni: Don't worry Linky, I know what I'm doing. Lincoln: I dunno, this could mean business. Leni: (escorts Lincoln upstairs) Just go play your video games. Everything will be fine. Lincoln: (nervous) Okay... (Lincoln goes into his room, but as soon as he closes the door, there was an explosion and the smoke alarm goes off; Lisa comes out of her room.) Lincoln: (concerned) What was that?! Lisa: It's science. You wouldn't understand. (just then, a tentacle grabs Lisa and drags her back in) AAH! (the door closes) Lincoln: Just keep it on a leash! (Lincoln rushes downstairs and finds Lily on top of a bookshelf throwing books on the floor and walking over to the edge of the shelf and starts climbing to save her) Lincoln: LILY! STOP! (Lily walks over the edge and Lincoln catches her; at that moment, Lana casts a fishing rod right into the fish tank) Lincoln: Lana! You can't fish in there! Those are pets. (notices Lily escaped and uses Lana's fishing rod to reel her back in) (Lynn comes in with a bucket of dirt and pours the dirt on the floor) Lincoln: Lynn! What are you doing? Lynn: Can't ride a dirt bike without dirt. Lincoln: Give me that bucket! (Suddenly, Lincoln is in a crossfire of pizza slices and waffles tossed by Lana and Lucy who are having a food fight; he shields himself with a cookie sheet and the pizza and waffles plaster all over it and make a rather gorgeous painting which impresses him; Lynn is pouring water from the hose all over the carpet and then gets pegged by an incoming gourd; the hose then starts going wild; Luna plays her music loudly in the living room. By this point, Lincoln was getting frustrated, so he blows a whistle) Lincoln: (angry) OKAY! THAT IS IT! EVERYBODY STOP WHAT THEY'RE DOING! Lana: What, why? Lincoln: (angry) Look at what you're doing! This place is a mess! Lynn: So? We're having fun! Lincoln: (angry) It doesn't matter! This place has turned into a madhouse, and I knew it! Everyone should just stop this and resume what they were doing before!! Luna: (annoyed) What? Have you suddenly become Lori now?! Lucy: Yeah Lincoln, we're just having fun. Luan: (annoyed) I think Lincoln's turning into Lori! Leni: (gasps) He is?! I didn't know transformation was possible! Luna: (facepalms) No Leni, he's telling us we can't have fun! Leni: I fail to see the joke. Lola: (angry) You're not the boss of us Lincoln, we can do what we want! Luna: (annoyed) Yeah dude, and as long as Leni says we can have fun, you can't stop us! Lincoln: (groans) JUST LISTEN TO ME! (The siblings resume their activities, which makes Lincoln frustrated. He trips over the telephone wire and lands in the mud and notices Lucy built a fort of diapers) Lincoln: Lucy! What are you doing with all those diapers?! (Lana screams like a madman and fires a barrage of meatballs) Lucy: Incoming. (gets down) Lincoln: (takes cover with her only for their fort wall to be damaged) Diaper wall breach! (Lana fires a cupcake at them, but Lucy stops it by plugging up the hole with Lily's butt; Lily giggles) Luna: FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK!!! (sets her amps to Super Max and has fireworks all set up for a big finale) Lincoln: LUNA! STOP! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Luna plays a chord and the noise blasts Lincoln right into the wall which leaves a dent in the wall. But worse, Lincoln was knocked unconscious, which caught Leni's attention) Leni: (gasps) Oh my gosh, Lincoln!! (runs towards him) Are you okay?! (shakes him) Wake up! (Lincoln was not responding. Leni gets really worried, until she was interrupted the chaos in the house. She notices just how much of a mess the house has become, and how wreckless everyone has gotten. Leni started to get steamed) Leni: (angry) OKAY, THAT DOES IT! (unplugs Luna's amps) NO GUITAR PLAYING! (takes Lana's food) NO FOOD FIGHTS! (stops Lynn from riding her bike in the house) NO DIRT BIKES, AND NO SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS!!! (takes Lisa's beakers and tosses them, causing an explosion) Luna: (annoyed) What the heck Leni?! Lana: (annoyed) You said you'd let us have fun! Leni: (angry) I should've listened to Lincoln! This whole house is a mess, and you're all acting like mindless five year olds which is hypocritical since I'm a mindless five year old all the time! Not only that, you're dealing with a lot of damage that could hurt someone! Lynn: (annoyed) Oh yeah?! You probably don't even know how to have fun! Leni: (angry) OH DON'T I?! (Leni points to Lincoln, who was still unconscious, and caused all the sisters to gasp) Luna: (worried) Oh my gosh Lincoln! Are you okay?! Leni: (angry) No! He's not! He's unconscious, after YOU BLASTED HIM! Luna: (confused) I... blasted him? Leni: (angry) Yeah! I'm not going to let myself fall under your stupid speech about having fun, when all of you became a bunch of five year olds! Luan: (upset) Oh my gosh, you're right, we went out of control... Lucy: I suppose we let the idea of having fun on Friday night get to us. Lisa: (sighs) Even as a genius, I can let this idea get to me. I am the genius guy. Leni: (gets upset) And now Lori's going to be really pissed at me when she comes home! (Leni spoke of the devil; Lori walked inside and noticed the massive pile of mess) Lori: (infuriated) WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!?!?! Leni: (gulps) Lori, I can explain! Luna: Leni, stop... (Luna walks up to Lori rubbing her arm) Luna: (guilty) It was my fault Lori. I was just wanting us to have fun on Friday nights, but you always say no. I was getting sick of you saying no all the time. It was me who convinced Leni to let us have fun, and it got out of hand. I realized why you never wanted us to have fun, and I was being too selfish. We all caused a lot of damage, and I'm really sorry. (Luna looks down upset, but Lori also felt a little bit guilty) Lori: (sighs) I don't blame you Luna. Luna: (upset) Wait, what? Lori: You're right, I do say no all the time. I guess I'm too strict and stubborn when I'm babysitting. I should've considered you guys when I was doing it. So I'm sorry too. Luna: You mean it? Lori: (smiles) Yeah, I'll try to tone down my stubborn behavior. I shouldn't say no all the time. Luna: (smiles) Thanks Lori. (Lori and Luna share a hug as all the other sisters smile) Lana: We're sorry too Lori. Lynn: Yeah, we're really sorry we were apart of this. Lori: You're all forgiven, I'll try to tone down my stubborn behavior. (Suddenly, Lori gets a phone call) Lori: (answers) Hello? Yeah. Okay. (hangs up) Leni: Who was that? Lori: Mom and Dad, they're going to be home in ten minutes. Leni: (shrieks) What are we going to do?! Lori: (smiles) Clean it, obviously. But first... Luna? A little clean up music? Luna: (smiles) You got it sis! ONE, TWO, THREE! (Everyone does what they can to clean the house; Lana puts the fish back in the tank, Lisa scrubs up the living room with a soap cannon and the help of her tentacle friend; Leni and Luan untangle the phone wire; Lynn uses the hose to clean the kitchen and then puts it outside; Cliff is about to go on the carpet, but Lori glares at him and he obeys to go in his litter box; Lola ties up some trash and Lynn yanks it up on her dirt bike; Leni fishes out Lily's diaper and puts it on her; they do the finish touches and carry everything else away as if the house was the same as it was when their parents left) Luna: GOOD NIGHT LOUD HOUSE! (Lori overhears Vanzilla pull up outside) Lori: (gasps) It's Mom and Dad! (Lori, Leni, and Luna quickly sit on the couch with Lincoln laying on Lori's lap) Lori: (nervous) Is he going to be okay? Leni: I hope so. Luna: Just play it cool. (Soon, Rita and Lynn Sr. walk inside) Lynn Sr.: Wow! I can't believe the house is still standing! Luna: (smiles) Yup, everything's good here. Rita: What's wrong with Lincoln? Lori: Uhh, Luna was playing this new song that went on for so long that he fell asleep. Rita: Oh, I see. (Lynn Sr. and Rita walk upstairs as the three girls sigh of relief) Leni: That was close. Lincoln: (groans) What the...? Lori: (smiles) Hey Lincoln. Lincoln: (blinks) L-Lori? What's going on? (sits up) The house is clean? Was it all a dream? Leni: No, it wasn't a dream. We all cleaned the house. Lincoln: (rubs his head) Really? Last I remember, the house was a complete mess, and then Luna knocked me out. Luna: (sighs) I know dude. Lori came home and we sorted everything out. But Lincoln, I'm really sorry for what I did. I knocked you out, and I got annoyed with you when you tried to fix everything. (rubs Lincoln's head) I feel like a terrible sister. Can you forgive me? Lincoln: Well... I don't know. Lori: C'mon Linc, Luna apologized to me for what she did, and she was a big help cleaning everything up. Lincoln: (smiles) Aw, alright Luna, I forgive you. Luna: (smiles) Thanks little bro. (hugs Lincoln) Lori: But most importantly, I've decided I'm going to be less strict from now on whenever I babysit. It's partially my fault for what happened. Lincoln: So... you won't say No all the time? Lori: (smiles) Not anymore. Lincoln: Oh wow, that's cool. Lori: But I'll still make sure everything's under control. Leni: (smiles) Yup! Lincoln: That's good. Thanks Lori! Lori: (smiles) Of course Linky. (rubs Lincoln's head) I'm glad you're okay. Lincoln: (giggles) Oh come on. Lynn Sr.: (screams) WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GOLF CLUB?! Leni: (wide eyed) Oh shoot. The End Category:Re-writes